Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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