looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
