it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
