once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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