i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
