Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
