i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
