Whod you bang
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
