I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
