just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
