There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
