The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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