Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
