well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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