Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize