with your own penis?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is wine microwaveable?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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