i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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