I need help removing her.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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