Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
