It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
