So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
