remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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