i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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