how can u be prego again
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
