what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
