Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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