i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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