You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
