dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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