Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
