Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
