i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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