dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You work out of a Hotel?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
