just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she told me i tasted like america
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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