Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
