drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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