are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
