so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
