ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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