WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
