Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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