i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
