Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
