So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
