If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
