i barfeds in our rink
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
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Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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