So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
