Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
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going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
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Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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