It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
