you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
