hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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