he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
