I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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