Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
