Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
