I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
