you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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