so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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