i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
