butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
