Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So vagazzling was a success
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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