The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
